Finding a roomate is like a dating service

Attention possible roomates!
Katie Hansen is an occasionally lovable person. Loves long walks on the beach and dinner by candle light. Continue sappy internet dating profile here.

Seriously this is what the finding a roommate process feels like. Granted I have procrastinated a ton and should have already nailed down one by this point but regardless this is not going too well. I feel like I need to sell myself to people if I want a roommate. It seems like the only ones left are not my type. I'll be the first to admit I have not been all that proactive and have just been waiting for one to fall in my lap. I've done a bunch of surveys and that is about as far as I've gotten.

This is what I'm looking for:
       1. Has a similar sleep schedule. I wake up between 9 and 11 pretty much everyday and go to sleep between 11 and 1. This will probably change slightly when I start living in the dorms. I'll probably start staying up later.
       2. I want someone who during the week will be fairly focused on school (at least not getting wasted every school night) but will party on the weekends. I want to do well in school but I also want to go to parties and have the legit college experience.
       3. I don't want a mother as a roommate. If I want to have people back to the dorm they should be cool with it because I'm going to be cool with it and also not telling me constantly what I can and cannot do. I'm not going to this so I don't want someone doing it to me.
       4. I don't mind if my roommate is superficial as long as they can be down to earth when hanging out with me. I want people to tell me the truth even if it's something that is going to upset me. I'm pretty upfront about my feelings and I guess that's how I'd want my roommate to be.
       5. I would like to have my roommate be my friend, but if were not then no biggie as long as we can manage to get along.

This is what I'll offer:
       1. I clean. I am kinda a neat freak so my roommate would probably never have to worry about cleaning 'cause I'll most likely do it. As long as I don't have to do their dishes. I don't know what it is about dishes but I hate doing them. (I'll do my own though)
       2. I'm pretty chill. Whatever my roommate wants to do I'll support it as long as it doesn't hurt me. I'm all for the motto of as long as a person is nice who cares what they do with their personal life.
       3. I'll be fun. I want to have as much fun in college as I can so I'll do fun stuff. I can't say I'll be up for doing something every night but I'll try to be as enjoyable as possible.
        4. I know OU. I can help find classes, show them around campus, introduce them to new people and the best places to eat. I can be awfully handy with the knowledge I've picked up from my last two years here.

Obviously I know that I will not be able to find all these qualities in a person. I'm not delusional, but these are my ideals that I would like to find. I just don't want to be fighting with my roommate constantly and want my living situation to be enjoyable.