emotions on the fritz

I am an emotional wreck and it's for no particular reason. I think I'm just worn down. I feel as though I haven't had any time to just think and get myself squared away all week. This is a pretty big deal for me. I have to sort out everything in my head in order to feel good and lately I just haven't had a chance. I'm tired because I am upset and I'm upset because I'm tired. All I want to do right now is curl into a ball and sleep until it's fall. I've been pretty happy for a while but for some reason right now I'm just not. I feel like I haven't slept in weeks. School is finally out but of course babysitting started this week and of course summer classes start next week. My mom just got back into town, my sister is living in a different state, pretty much none of my friends are around, and of course my best friend lives too far away. I just want a break and to relax. I don't think I've had anytime to just breathe and focus on myself. I've been spending all my spare time (which lately has felt limited) reading. It's been great but I get so wrapped up in it that I forget I have to come back to reality for things other than babysitting. I don't know what it is I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed and like I'm neglecting myself. It's probably just because I'm tired and I'm sure as soon as I've had a good nights sleep I'll feel better.

I realize this is all pretty personal and most people don't care this much about the internal workings of my head. I don't know why but writing it just makes me feel better. I don't have any desire to burden any single person with my emotional problems 'cause to be completely honest I'm not sure I really want most people I know to tell me with theirs. Writing it down makes it possible that someone is listening without forcing it on anyone. At least that's my view of it all.

Anyway, this weekend I just want to relax and not have to be in charge of anyone but myself. I just want to sit back relax and do what I need to do. The classes I am taking online start Monday and I want to treat this weekend as my mini-version of summer vacation before I have to dive back into school work and actual work. This is my goal and chances are I won't be sticking to it but hey who knows it could happen, right?

Now that I have gotten all of that out of my system I feel a little better and am now going to finish the last 10% of my book and then call it an early night.  Bonne nuit.