It's all coming to an end, or at least a pause.

Life has been crazy. I just finished up my first quarter as a real college kid and I really couldn't have asked for a better time. This quarter was everything I wanted it to be and more. I made some incredibly good friends, had some even better times, and learned more about myself and the people around me than I have in a while. In the past ten weeks I've studied during the week, partied on the weekend, and managed to work 20 plus hours a week somewhere in there. To say that I am a little burnt out is an understatement. I've had the time of my life so far this year but even too much fun is a bad thing. I'm ready to do a whole lot of nothing, I'm ready to be bored and lonely for a while.

To catch up on the quarter I've had would take writing a book so I'll just highlight the important stuff. Living in the dorms has been ridiculously fun. My roommate and I get along way better than I could ever have hoped, my across-the-hallmate has turned into one of my best friends, and the guys down the hall are more enjoyable to be around than most people I've ever met. I've made some interesting decisions this quarter but then again what college kid hasn't? None of them were too stupid and if nothing else make for a good story of "remember when I...?".  This has been the time for me to figure out what I am and am not ok with, and I'm beginning to realize I'm not as uptight as everyone has always made me out to be. Loosening up this year and just going with the flow has lead me to some of the most enjoyable times this I've ever had. Don't think that my quarter has been all fun and games though, I switched my major to accounting which included vast amounts of homework and studying, I started working my first real job and have since worked way too many hours, and have overall been attempting to keep my shit together. All my life has consisted of lately has been class, work, friends, and homework, and to be completely honest I'm ready to avoid all of these things for the next month.

I'm going to miss all of the friends I've made when they leave me over break but some alone time and family time sounds just about right at the moment. But before they leave I'm waking them all up and forcing them to get brunch with me. I'll try to post slightly more often but no promises can be made.

and the count down begins

I know, I know I've been really awful at keeping up with this. It'll probably only get worse, but while I'm thinking about it I'll give an update.

So t-minus 25 days till I move into the dorms, and let's just say that the 1st cannot come soon enough. I've officially got everything I think I'm going to need other than some food stuff that I'm not gonna want to get until I actually get in there. I've already met some new people and I am registered for classes. It's right about this time that it becomes pretty apparent how truly impatient I am. Sure this summer has gone by incredibly fast but I still feel like it's dragging on.  Not only am I unbelievably excited to be in the dorms and finally getting the whole college experience, I'm also just ready for cooler weather, being able to wear hoodies and jeans, apple cider, football games, and all of the fun that comes along with fall.

I am officially an adult now, the big 18 and yeah it's treating me pretty well. Granted I haven't really done anything yet that I couldn't do before. I'm thinking about doing something crazy like getting my ear pierced haha. I do like that I have the options of doing things though even if I probably won't take advantage of like half of them. Regardless though I am now a big kid and I'm loving it.

Nothing too crazy has been going on in my life lately. Taylor and Dom were down this weekend which was fun, I've done a lot of organizing, I'm trying to get back into the rhythm of working out, and other than that my life has consisted of doing school work and sitting by the pool with the boys.

I haven't really come up with any new thought on life. What I've been focusing most on lately is being completely honest with people. I've always been a fairly blunt person I just want to make sure that people can count on me, if for no other reason than that I'll tell the truth. Like always it's a work in progress. I am a girl and lying is supposedly in our nature. I just want to make sure it's obvious that with me what you see is what you get.

Well that's about all I have to say, not very exciting but hey at least it's something. 

and it all goes on...

It's been a while since I've posted, not for any other reason than the fact that I've been pretty busy and usually when I have some free time all I wanna do is sleep or veg out in front of the tv. I haven't really been occupied with big things more of just a bunch of little things. Not only am I babysitting around 50 hours a week, taking summer courses, but I also just got a new job. It's my first real person job ever and it's at court street coffee. Getting it really takes a lot of pressure off of me for the school year because now I don't have to worry about trying to find a job before I move out. But anyway so yeah I've got a lot on my plate but it's nice to keep busy and make some money while I'm at it.

So for some reason blogging isn't quite as appealing as it has been. I like doing it and I know that in a few years it's going to be interesting to look back and see what I talked about. For some reason though I don't feel the urge to do it as much as I did when I first started. This could be because I just don't have anything that important to say.

I've been feeling pretty good about life. I've realized though that I let money stress me out far to much and the more I seem to have of it the more I worry about spending it. I get an anxious feeling every time I think about it though and it's bothering me. I want to just stop spending so that I can put a whole lot of it into savings at the end of the summer. I just hate when I rely on getting a certain amount of money only to find out I'm not getting it. It's not even that I need it for any particular reason I'm just such a planner that I know exactly what the money will go towards and when. I don't know just talking about it all now is bothering me. It's stupid I need to get over it. God knows what I'll be like when I have to actually start paying for bills and other everyday things. Hopefully by then I will have an actual job and not relying on babysitting money or getting hours at a minimum wage job.

So summer is officially half way over and I could not be happier about that. I hate summer the only redeeming quality is that my birthday is in the summer and I am able to lay by the pool occasionally and get a tan. Otherwise it's too hot, pretty boring and I get stir crazy, I have to wake up earlier than I do during the school year, and everyone goes away for the summer it feels like. It also just feels like a big waiting period, waiting for school to start up again, waiting for the weather to cool off, and waiting for friends to be close by. This summer is even worse with the waiting because this time I'm just waiting to move into the dorms and out of my house. I HATE waiting. I am an extremely impatient person. Even if I'm waiting to get a tooth pulled I'd prefer it happened sooner rather than later. I'm ready for life to just start and get rollin'.

Well I got out pretty much all I've had to say, I'm going to go web browsing and continue to stalk craigslist for a cheap ipad.

Rambling

The electricity keeps going out. Hopefully I'll be able to finish this before it goes out again. I'm not entirely sure what I plan on accomplishing while I write tonight. There isn't one thing that I've been thinking about lately specifically just a bunch of scattered thoughts. So bare with me this will probably be a fairly random post.

First things first, I'm going to be a legal adult in three weeks. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal to a lot of people but for some reason this birthday seems to really be hitting me. Usually birthdays for me just mean a day where I get presents and people are slightly nicer to me. The number never seems like that big of a deal, I'm not sure why though but being 18 is a weird concept to me. All of these grown-up things are going to be hitting me at the end of the summer starting with my b-day. Pretty soon everything I do is gonna be on me. I just like this concept and am pretty excited. Don't get me wrong though, it's pretty unnerving but I think I'm ready.

I have decided that people should live and let live. This is and idea I've been exploring a lot lately. I've decided that if I screw up it's on me. Just like if someone screws up it's on them. Who cares what other people do on their own time. As long a person is a relatively kind person and is contributing something to society who cares what the hell they are doing, it's their own business.  I think I just don't think the majority of people have any right to judge me so why should I judge them.

I miss North Carolina. Way more than I thought I would. I had a really fun night at Thomas's and seeing people. Staying at Taylor and Dom's was great and I miss them. I didn't nearly get my Jordan fix while I was down there. And I just want to spend some more time down there. I just had such a good time on my trip and I was definitely not ready to leave.

I'm gaining my interest in boys back. For a while there they were the last thing on my mind but now I'm beginning to appreciate them again. I'm in no way looking to sleep around or sleep with anyone for that matter but I think I'm ready to start dating again. I'm young and I gotta take advantage of my looks while I still got 'em, yah know? I'm just excited to start being woo'ed again.

I want the school year to start. I feel like I am in transition mode just waiting for stuff to start and it's really bothering me. I'm ready to just be in the dorms instead of waiting to be there. I know I'm being incredibly inpatient but I haven't been this excited about something in a while. I'm sure as soon as I actually move in it's not going to be as exciting as I think it'll be I'm just ready to know. Like 7 weeks to go, it's the final stretch.

Time for me to sleep. g'night.

People change.

So I am leaving NC this morning, my plane heads out at 3:15 and I'll probably be heading towards the airport at noon. I'm up pretty early which means Taylor and Dom aren't awake yet so I'm finishing packing, showering, and getting ready. I think I'm going to miss being down here more than I thought I would but the idea of my own bed and not living out of a suitcase sounds pretty good right about now. I've seeing Taylor and Dom and I really happy they let me visit for so long and how much fun they've been the entire time.

This trip has been pretty good for me and I've surprisingly learned a lot. Like once in a while I need some time to just relax and not worry about anything. I've learned that people change. No one is going to be the exact same person they were 6 years ago, or 4 years ago, or even a year ago. It's weird though because people I knew down here as kids are growing up and becoming adults. Not everyone has appeared different from the person I knew when we were younger but I know that they are, it seems impossible for them not to have changed. I've learned that each moment in life creates a different response from us and we learn from those responses. We decide who we want to be as we get older and morph ourselves into that person as accurately as we can. Situations in life force us to evaluate ourselves. Every moment in life makes us a slightly different person than the one we were a moment before. I know for a fact that I am not the same person I used to be. I like to think it's for the better that overall time and life have had a positive effect on me. I really hope that I continue to acknowledge my mistakes and learn from them because that is pretty much my goal. I don't want to be the same person I've always been because that would mean I've learned nothing from life. Although people change, I know that places usually don't. Sure more buildings may be built, others torn down, but overall they usually stay the same. Harnett County is just as I remember it but it doesn't feel the same way it used to. I'm not the same person I was or feel the same way about things that I used to so this seems only natural. I really can't help thinking though, who I would have been if I had stayed here.


So that's my big insight for the morning. Depending on how bored I get at the airport I may post some of the other life lessons I've learned while I've been down here but for right not I am going to hop in the shower and finish getting ready to leave.

North Carolina Continued

North Carolina is great. My parents left early Tuesday morning and I've loved spending some quality time with my sister and Dom. Taylor and I for the most part have gone shopping and hung out around the house. On the 5th, Lillington had their fireworks since the 4th it wouldn't stop storming. The fireworks were the best I've ever seen, there were like 8 parts that I thought were the grand finale and crazy shaped ones like stars and smiley faces. I saw a lot of people I knew from when I lived here and afterwards we all went to Thomas's house and hung out in his barns. Sadly though I managed to lose my phone while I was there, which isn't the worst thing since Thomas was nice enough to give me one to use till I buy a nice one. Anyway seeing everyone was really fun and I'm glad that I had a chance to get to know people more as who they are now than who I thought they were when they were 12. It's funny how much things change but for the most part stay the same.

So tonight Dom, Taylor, and I went to the movies and saw Bad Teacher which was hilarious. Fayetteville, which is the town near base that the closest movie theater (the one we went to) is in, is crazy ghetto. They have like legit cops that watch the theater because it's so shady there. It was great, on the way back through the town we had a contest to see who could spot the first hooker. I have never seen a real-life prostitute before and for some reason I really want to see one (from a distance of course). I'm not entirely sure why I have the urge but I do, I bet as soon as I actually see one I'll be really freaked out hah. So as you can conclude I didn't succeed in my goal to see my first actual hooker tonight but maybe one day I'll finally fulfill it.

I'm going to keep this pretty short cause it's pretty late and I'm really tired. Overall I'm loving being down here and will be pretty sad to be going home Saturday. I miss my bed and my friends back home but I've really loved the time I've spent down here and the people I've spent it with. So long for now, nighty night.

So far in North Carolina

So I've been in North Carolina for almost 48 hours now and so far I've gone to the PX (the army version of a walmart and department store in one), went out to eat, had a sleepover with Jordan, got a tan while swimming, managed to put off studying for calculus, and made a friendship bracelet. I'm really loving being down here although I gotta say I have no tolerance for heat anymore. I've gotten used to Ohio's cold rainy weather and down here it has been around 100 degrees out and dry and sunny. But anyway, this week I'm looking forward to seeing fireworks with the family tomorrow, helping Taylor and Dom paint the inside of their amazing house, going swimming with Sarah and Stephanie, camping with Jordan, and just seeing people and hanging out with my sister and brother-in-law.

Sadly enough, the thing I'm looking forward to most this week is taking a break from school work and childcare. As soon as I finally take this calc quiz that I know nothing on it, I will be done with anything school related for the next week and I don't have to babysit while I am down here cause my parents and the boys are going back home Tuesday while I stay here till Saturday. It's sounds dumb cause summer is only like 4 weeks along but I'm already a little burnt out and I think a week off will do me a lot of good.

I really need to work on not stressing myself out cause I do it a lot. I'm gonna try to take this week to calm myself down and just relax for a while. Hopefully I'll be able to stay that way after I get back home. I guess we shall see. But for right now I am going to go eat shish kabobs with my family.

It's been a while

So I've been relatively busy lately which has been pretty nice but also not allowed me to post a whole lot. Last week I went to a pond with a bunch of friends an swam. It was really fun I just wish the fish hadn't attacked my belly button. I'm serious, I have fish bite marks on my stomach. It was an interesting yet frightening experience. After swimming with what might as well been sharks we got delicious wings in West Virginia at a place with really bad service, it ended up being worth the wait. Then this last weekend I drove up to Greenfield, OH with Sarah to visit Caitlynn and help out with the chalk festival commemorating her brother. It was super fun. I spent pretty much the whole time painting faces, well rather faces and legs and arms and pretty much any other body part they shoved in my face. While at Caitlynn's I got to meet her family, see her hometown, go out to eat, go to a drive-in movie at some kids house, and spend lot of time with Caitlynn. I couldn't have asked for a better time. Last night was also great. I went bowling with Jess and Sarah, let me just say I won haha. Afterwards we got sushi and cupcakes from kroger and ate them at Sarah's. We ended up going to go see Bridesmaids after we ate which was hilarious but Jess and I were the only people in the theater and the electricity decided to go out. It was all a very interesting experience. So far this summer has proved to be pretty fun.

The most exciting news I've got is that I am going to North Carolina this weekend with my family to visit Taylor and Dom. Fort Bragg does a really big thing every year for the Fourth of July with country music bands, lots of food, fair rides, and fireworks. It should be a really good way to spend the holiday. What's even more exciting is that instead of driving back with my parents at the end of the weekend I'm staying a whole extra week and flying home the next Saturday. I'm really excited to spend some time with my sister and see Jordan and everyone else. I feel like I lived down there a million years ago and I can't wait to see people and the town. It's always a weird experience visiting a place I used to live. I don't know how to explain it it's like everything changes including me but over all the place stays the same more than I do. It's always kinda surreal. But anyways, I'm going to spend some quality time with Taylor and Dom, probably help them paint, and just hang out with who ever I can. North Carolina was definitely my favorite place that I ever lived with Athens in a close second. But NC was where I consider myself to have grown up. That's where I started out as kid and became almost a real person. I miss it and the people and I can't wait to be back even if it's just for a week.

I'm starting to get back to taking pictures. I used to it all the time, everywhere I went I'd get at least one picture but then I started relying on other people to take them and stopped having as much. I love having pictures around to help me remember a certain day. I'm thinking I am going to sell my old camera, which is really only like a year and a half old, and buy a new better one. I figure I'm going to want to get pictures of everything next year so it won't be a waste. I was actually really excited, I posted my iPod touch on Amazon and sold it the next day so I'll probably be able to sell my camera relatively quickly too. I just want to start having souvenirs of my adventures and what not.

So online classes are actually going pretty well. I managed to only spend $8 on books for this session and I've already wiped out my first two plant biology projects, am about to get started on the third, took my first calculus quiz which I don't think went horribly, and am getting organized for my pbio exam that is due on Thursday. I haven't gotten any grades back yet so I'm not entirely sure if how I think I'm doing actually matched up with how I'm actually doing but I guess we'll see about that one. I pretty much just want to pass these classes and become an official Junior/upperclassman at OU.

Well I should probably go do something fun with the boys that get's out their energy so they're not monsters this afternoon. Later.

It's definitely summer when there's a pool party involved

Yesterday was incredibly fun. It was Sarah's birthday so we had a mini pool party for her at my house. Jayne brought cupcakes, Jess brought presents, Molly brought cheesecake, and Caitlynn brought herself. It was nice we swam all day then went to taco bell. It was great cause the weather finally managed to be hot and sunny yesterday which around here has been rare lately. What was best was though was that everyone managed to come. Caitlynn even drove down for the day and the fact that I got to see her was amazing since I haven't seen her all summer.

We've made plans for a camping trip to the beach towards the end of the summer. It's going to be awesome and extremely cheap, I'm talking only paying for gas and cheap food like hotdogs, peanut butter and jelly, and cereal. I've never been on a trip without adult supervision and I'm really excited. The idea of cramming all of us into a car for a road trip and spending all day long at the beach and camping out with bonfires all night sounds like the perfect thing to look forward to this summer.

So classes have started up again and I did my first online assignment with some help from Jess, which was a plant biology cross word puzzle. I still haven't really gotten into doing anything calc related yet, mainly cause I don't have the book yet but my friend Scott is letting me borrow his for the summer which is super sweet of him. I also managed to find my biology textbook for only 10 dollars which is really exciting considering that now buying books falls on my lap. Thankfully though my parents are helping my out a ton with the other expenses.

Well it's about that time to take the boys outside to play and start on some school work. I think I'm going to be really ready for the end of summer really soon.

Better

So I was right, a weekend of relaxing did me a whole lot of good and now I feel better. I felt productive and relaxed all at the same time today. I went though and picked pictures to go into my big frame and made them all black and white. I also did lots of online window shopping which I really enjoy cause you get the feeling like you've picked out a lot of cool stuff without actually having to spend money or leave the house. Also I am now the proud owner of two goats, Lenny and Dave. They're pretty tight. I spent the majority of this weekend hanging out with them and my parents while my parents burnt a bunch of old stuff from the barns. Today was of course father's day and as my gift I bathed all the boys. While this does not seem like much it's actually a pain in the ass job and hurts your back. I hope my dad appreciates his gift because I did it out of pure and utter love for him. Honestly, I don't think I'd be half the person I am today if he hadn't come into my life over 11 years ago. Could not have gotten luckier in the dad department if I tried.

It's supposed to thunderstorm tomorrow and the cleaning people are coming so in order to get the boys out of the house I'm thinking I'm going to take them to the mall that's like 45 minutes away. It's always really weird taking the boys places without my parents cause people always assume that they are mine. I figure if I make them look classy and people still assume that I'm their mom then at least they'll think I'm a well off teen mom. I'm not even sure how my brain works but this is the conclusion I've come to. Anyway I haven't been out of the house other than to drive my brother home in over a week so I should probably get out before I go crazy. Both Jess and Sarah are home now so I will hopefully be seeing them tomorrow.

Two of my summer classes start tomorrow and they are both online. I'm kinda nervous about this because I never taken an online class before and I'm not entirely sure what to expect. I don't know if I'll be any good at learning without having someone verbally explain it to me, but we'll see how it goes. Thankfully though I did get a C+ in part 3 of calculus so Ill be able to take the final part and be done with calc for the rest of my life at the end of this summer. It feels like calculus has taken over my life and I am very ready to be done with it. I'm also taking plant biology which should be a piece of cake, as far as science goes I've always been fairly good at biology and I actually kind of enjoy it. As soon as I complete all my classes this summer I will have 96 credit hours which will officially make me a Junior at Ohio University.

As a nice wrap up to this weekend I am going to get myself caught up on law and order: SVU and veg out on my bed. 'night.